Thoughts on Paper
by Nuki Mouse
Summary: Gadget finds out she can't outrun biology or her past, but some unexpected news may change her future in a way she did not think possible. Rewritten and now rated M for susgestive dialog and mention of attempted rape. Not a lemon.


Thoughts on Paper.

A Rescue Ranger fanfic by NukiMouse.

I never had a journal before. I take that back, I kept dozens of journals covering my work, but golly this is different; I guess this is really my diary. So much has happened that I just had to write in down on paper or I might go insane.

So, I am a mutant….

The gene scan made that clear. Not that I expected anything different. I am too smart, way too smart for a _normal _Mus Musculus. I always rather suspected this but golly it never really bothered me before. It is just hard to think of myself as anything other then a Ranger and an Inventor nowadays.

Until recently that is.…

I also never really thought of myself as female either, unless forcefully reminded of it. To me as a kid gender was academic. While I would never be big or strong as my father, I was more nimble and quick, and had a lower more sensible center of balance. I never even thought of the more basic differences. Being an only child (or so I thought at the time) and brainy to boot, I was always an outsider even in kindergarten. It not that I was unfriendly or anything like that as a kid, it was just that kids my age wanted to _play _doctor, and all I wanted to do was study to _be_ a doctor.

Of course being brain helped solve that problem as well. Before long, they stopped trying to keep me out of the library. Not that I thought much about my smarts as a kid, I was just being me. It would be an understatement to say that I excelled, but I WAS the youngest ever to graduate from my Alma Mater. Heck, most people my age were still in junior high when I gave my first valedictorian speech; by 18 I had my PHD. Adults (other than my father) just thought of me as a child, other students at college looked upon me like a little sister, cute but annoying. Not dating material.

Moreover, once I started filling out my coveralls better, it just seemed that the few boys my age I did know turned into total idiots around me, while the girls became cold and aloof, especially when I did talked to those boys. I never realized _WHY _this was happening; I never thought or realized they found me very pretty, much less sexy at that time. It was like describing music a deaf person. Unfortunately, I hear quite well nowadays.

Odd things are happening to me since I read my DNA results….

I spent the entire morning sitting here by the fountain just watching the children play. Yesterday, I redesigned the Ranger Wing to hold a baby seat, we do rescue the occasional toddler or at least that's what I told Chip. Not to mention the hours I spent looking at baby clothes online and imagined a little version of me inside them. I even started looking at… _Males._

Tick… tick… tick…, that old biological clock is finally catching up to me, and I never even knew I had been running away from it. In school mating was something I read about, or clinically studied. Until a certain unfortunate event when I was 19, the closest I ever came to sex was self gratification. Gee wiz, it not like I ever thought much about being a mother growing up, all I knew was Dad. I wanted to be an engineer just like him and a darn good one. I had no time to waste raising children, and after isn't that the only reason to have sex? Golly I was so naïve back then.

Back then….

After college, I thought I would become queen of the scientific world, no NOT like my evil twin, but as in everything going my way. Unfortunately, my way led to a dead end street. With all my brains, I knew nothing of the _real_ world. Oh, I got plenty of offers, just none of the type I wanted. No mater what my sheepskins said, no Male colleague me seriously; a giggly bubbly blonde teenager with a killer body is all they ever saw, not a coworker or even assistant, and Females looked at me as unwanted competition. Not that I realized that at the time.

Moreover, no one likes an 18-year-old genus showing them up. Even when I did accomplish something, someone else always got the credit for it, and the accolades. After all, I was just the young blonde eye candy in the lab. I spent more time making coffee then I did making science. I even thought of dying my hair dark brown and wearing dowdy clothes, a kind of artificial intelligence and age enhancement, but golly gee I don't like lying or fakers, why should I have to be one to succeed? It was the worst time in my life.

Or so I thought.

I had to quit the research lab and run home to Daddy, no letters of recommendation for me, I was branded a troublemaker. A year out of College and nothing to show for it, other than an attempted gang rape. I didn't even realize what was happening. I thought that if I just got to know my coworkers better, more socially, I would start to get some well deserved respect. No, I didn't date any of them; I wasn't looking for a mate and still did not realize I was grade "A" trophy material, besides most were old enough to be my father.

However, I did start to go to more group gatherings and symposiums with them, and was quite flattered by all the attention I got. I was the Belle of the Ball, even if I didn't know I _was_ a Belle, or what type of "Ball" they were really after. I never knew there was a sizable bet on who would be first to bed me, until several of the damn rotten bastards… Oh sucks darn excuse me… until several of_ them_ decided to resort to pharmaceuticals and call it a draw.

Lucky for me, one of the few other females present got wind of it and got me out of there "intact," at least physically. However not before being stripped nude and proving I was both a natural blonde and had real tits (not plastic) to most of the males at the conference. I still to this day have nightmares about being groped, and have a big problem with the idea of intimacy.

It got even worst….

Reporting them did me no good; I was not the first female they tried this with. It was just blown off as the normal type of "high jinks" that these conventions were famous for. After all if I didn't _want_ it, why was I there in the first place? Moreover, the photos they took did not help maters. In any case I couldn't face them again. So I ended up back at my Dad's place. The only good to come of it was I was there with him when he …left.

Besides being a test pilot, Dad was a first class aeronautical engineer and a part time explorer and treasure hunter. He left me with a fully stocked machine shop, a racing plane we were rebuilding, and enough money that I didn't _need_ to work for a living. I always had these ideas floating around in my head, and some rather unorthodox ways of doing things.

So I started inventing.

Four years later, when "The Boys" showed up, I was still at it. Although they never realized it, they gave me a reason to live again. Not that I was suicidal or anything, just stuck in a colossal rut. Even torturing door-to-door salesmen was starting to lose its appeal.

Salesman: What vision of loveliness, is this the face that launched a thousand ships?

Me: Die…, you josh darn damn… _MALE_!

Needless to say, I really did need a life again. Dad's old hanger might have been safe, but it was darn lonely too. I always loved a good Shurluck Jones mystery and James Bond movies to boot, I guess I share that with a couple of Munks I know grin. After living such an adventure with them, I couldn't go back to living alone anymore.

It took some getting use to.

You know, living with four males. Even after four years I still didn't _trust _males, not completely that is. A lock on my door and another on the bathroom was the FIRST things I installed in the tree house, even before my new workshop. Of course Monty is more like an uncle to me and still sees me as Geegaw's little girl, and Zip is a total gentleperson. Besides, he has Queenie.

The Munks obviously found me quite attractive, even given the differences between us. Their spirited flattery did wonders for my self-esteem. They both made it clear they would like to know me better, but they never cross the line with either their remarks or actions. Moreover, they seemed to respect me as a person and (almost) never let their good-natured competition interfere with our missions.

Back then, I never thought anything serious would ever come of their attentions, it was not like we were actually compatible or anything. Physically that is. No, wait… on second thought I guess everything would fit together right, its that biologically… um…. Good golly we couldn't have any kids. Even then, my thoughts on mating were centering on reproduction alone, and not just plain old sex just for the fun of it. Not that I knew anything about _that_, save for Rosie Palm and her 5 little sisters. Until Foxy showed me one, I didn't even know what a vibrating dildo was.

Well after 2 years as a Ranger, I'm not totally naïve any more…

However, I'm still a virgin. I never thought that would mater to me, being a virgin. As a kid it never crossed my mind that it made any difference, after all it was just a piece of vestigial membrane left over from my time as a fetus. It took almost losing it to make me realize how important it was… to ME. Foxy told me I was being foolish, that I should just get it over with and pop it myself. It will just make my first time more painful anyways. She even gave me one of her toys to do it with. A new unused I hope, but I didn't have the nerve to ask _that._ Eeeww…, _shudder _

She just doesn't understand. That little piece of flesh is the only proof I have that they didn't rape me. Everyone heard the rumors by now, and the photos suddenly popping up online last year did help matters either. I'm not some loose alley cat or fluff brain rabbit sex machine, no matter what others might think. Side note to self: I need to check up with Sparky on how the development of that new hunter-killer computer virus is coming along.

One day when I do lose my maidenhead, it will be to some one I love and respect and I will honor that person by keeping it until then. There is a lot I can do by myself _without_ losing it; I think rooming with Foxy is slowly turning me to a sex-crazed maniac just like her. Besides, for some reason I don't think it will be much longer of a wait anyway.

Having a roomie is not entirely what I expected.

Yes, I got a roommate now; Foxglove has officially joined the Rangers. I offered to build her a private bedchamber higher up in the tree but she wouldn't hear of it. After all, it is not as if we sleep the same hours. I think she was just lonely and wanted an excuse to room with me, I can understand that feeling. In any case Dale still beds down with Chipper, and Monty practically fills his own room, so it not like she could sleep with any of them. Golly gee wiz, I did mean that the way it sounded, like Foxy's easy or something. As Foxy said, "Us un-mated females just need to stick together."

I never thought about what girlfriends gossiped about when the boys weren't around; I never had a true girlfriend before. I was quite shocked by how… earthy… Foxglove is. Almost as shocked Foxy was that I was still a virgin at age 25, especially as it turns out she _has _seen those darn photos. I asked if she thought Chip had seen them. She said no, but I'm not sure I believe her.

I asked her what she saw in Dale, after all he wasn't a Bat like her. Foxy seemed surprised that I though that even mattered. She liked his carefree clownish nature, his joviality, his every cloud has a sliver-lining attitude. Moreover, she found him cute when he played shy and hard to get, even if he was almost too sexy to resist. I laughed at her, I couldn't help it, Dale… _playing_ hard to get? That was just too rich.

"I'm a Bat remember" was Foxy's answer, "I hear hypersonic, I see infrared." Both Dale's racing heartbeat and rising body temperature were clear signs to her of his infatuation. Dale just needed more time to be sure of his feelings and she was willing to wait. "After all, I'm not looking for a one day stand," she quipped, "I can go back on the streets for that."

"But he's a Munk, and gee wiz you're a Bat… don't you want to have little ones" I asked her? Foxy simply smiled, "I just turned 20, I have years ahead to do that. If science or magic can't solve that problem, we can always adopt." "But could you love a kid that wasn't yours" I further asked? Wrong Question, oh boyo did I hit a nerve. Golly how was I supposed to know Foxglove was an orphan. At least my eye only stayed black and blue for a couple of days.

Speaking of children….

Like I said, I got back those DNA results, the ones about compatibility I took on Foxy and Dale last week. No one knew I sent in a second set of samples, I didn't tell anyone. There are too many rumors and me and Chip going around already to throw more fuel on that fire. However, the results of both sets of test weren't quite what I expected.

I'm not a Mouse or at least not 100 Mouse, or even 80. I was born with at least 3 different genomes inside me and pick up a 4th one later on, Mouse being just the most dominate of them. Geegaw never talked much about my mom, she left him shortly after I was born but not by choice apparently. Dad told me she was on the lamb from a top-secret research lab; I always thought that meant she use to _work_ there.

I found Dad's journal….

It's not as if it was lost or anything like that, I had it all along but never read it, too personal. At least now I know the truth, it was an illegal genetics lab trying to enhance intelligence and mom was one of their test subjects. I guess I can understand why Dad kept that from me, but why did he not tell me I had a sister? At least I got to meet her, even if I didn't know it at the time.

I got the name of the lab, but found out it was shut down years ago. Some sort of scandal involving escaped lab Rats and a fire. I did find a lead on some sort of settlement in a valley upstate, but the Rats there don't talk much to outsiders, not that I blame them. Maybe I'll visit them one day; I got a lot of questions for them, maybe they knew my mother, maybe there were other mice like her.

So I'm a genetic hybrid, not really a Mouse, not quite a Rat, I'm even part… Human. However, it was my fourth Genome sequence, the one I _was not_ born but spliced with that was the real shocker. The Lab was quite emphatic about that, being spliced that is. Moreover, they found a match for it in their files, just who it was really blew me away.

Holy smollies, that's just not possible was my first thought…

Then I remembered the Phonamatic Modemizer, Nimnul's attempt at teleportation or would that be telephone-tation? Anyhow, it apparently made a better gene splicer than a teleporter. I still have the spec's for the Modemizer, there is no reason it can't splice Bat and Munk DNA together if it worked so well on Mice and Munk. So I guess one day Dale and Foxy be able to have kids the natural way. I never thought I would ever be grateful to Professor Nimnul, or one of his wacky inventions.

Gee wiz I guess that makes Dale like my _brother_, and I know Monty always thought of Chip as the son he never had. However, the short of it is that I am now biologically compatible with at certain other rodent. I guess that's why I've been thinking about having kids so much lately. For the longest time I knew whom I wanted for a mate, it was just that he wasn't a mouse. Now I know differently and the though of it is making me quite hot.

Moreover thanks to Nimnul, I'm part Chipmunk too or rather a Chipmouse, but I think I settle for just being Chip's Mouse.

8/28/05.

Send any comments or C&C 


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